


Pop Went A-Creeping

by hhayfever



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And then I stayed up until 2 am to write fucking 700 something words, Dave Strider is talking someone stop him, F/M, I was listening to Hayloft by mother mother when I came up with this, Sloppy Makeouts, but like... afterwards, cliche male parental figure is protective of daughter and boys, davejade - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, teens doing teen things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhayfever/pseuds/hhayfever
Summary: Dave and Jade get caught having some sloppy makeouts. That's it. Send tweet.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Jade Harley, Jade Harley/Dave Strider
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Pop Went A-Creeping

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to write any characters that have ever existed.

The handle of Jade’s door slowly turned downwards and the hinges creaked open dramatically.

“Oh shit,” said Dave.

“Oh fuuuuuuuudgesicles,” said Jade.

There in the doorway stood the silhouette of Jade’s grandpa. There was no emotion on his face. There was probably thunder and lightning too, like in a cheesy horror movie, just to add even more drama to the situation.

Dave carefully untangled himself from Jade and adjusted his shades. “Good evening Mr. Harley, fancy seeing you here. How’s your day been? Your night? My day was, might I say, fuc- really quite terrible. Quite quite terrible if I do say so myself, and I do. ‘Twas quite a wack day, not one of the rootinest or tootinest like you might say. Have you ever said that? I find it hard to believe that you’ve never said that. I realize I’m the one from Texas and the most likely to be a cowboy, but you say some of the most wack and also wackiest old slang I have ever heard. Not to say I don’t enjoy the way you talk. Do you know anything about linguistics? Let’s talk about linguistics. I may not look the part but I know mad shit-stuff! Mad stuff about the English language. Got a 98 on my last essay, don’t ever let anyone say I’m not the most studious mothertrucker,  _ trucker _ , on the planet. In fact-“

“Dave,” Jade interjects. “I think it’s time for you to shut up now. Ok???”

Dave looks at her and great googly moogly she looks very not presentable. Ok, she still looks pretty fine, but her grandpa probably doesn’t approve of her lip gloss being smeared around her mouth - and also probably on Dave’s, fuck, hope Mr. Harley enjoys double the number of glittery lips - and her hair is way more wild than usual. There’s probably a hair-tie still lost in there when Dave pulled it out Jade’s ponytail rather unceremoniously and definitely not the right way.

The two teens sit in silence, both now facing Grandpa Harley with their feet dangling off the side of the bed. The grand patriarch has still not spoken, and frankly, Jade is shaking in her nonexistent boots. Not that she doesn’t own boots, just that she’s not wearing them now. Who wears shoes around the house, especially on the bed? Ew, gross. She has no idea what Grandpa is gonna say. She’s lived with him long enough to know that he is definitely really fucking angry right now. He’s got that stern look in his eyes and his mustache hairs are  _ b r i s t l i n g _ with his very audible breathing.

He’s got multiple reasons to be pissed right now, not that Jade really cares, except for the inescapable grounding (that is gonna suck ass). She broke rule number one: No boys allowed. And also rule number two: no boyfriend allowed. And three: no Strider boys allowed. Originally number three was just no Dave allowed, but then Dirk tried to teach her robotics and he blew the breaker out and also murdered the blender so now it’s no Striders ever.

“Lad.” The fucking temperature in the room changes with how icy Mr. Harley says that single word. Dave  _ shivers _ next to Jade and though she can’t see it she knows he’s sweating like a pig. “I suggest you take your scrawny little rump and take it out the way you came. And I better not see your blatherskite of a self around my house again. Do you understand ol’ champ.”

Dave salutes and stands up. “Sir I have gotten the memo. No need to worry bout lil’ ol’ me. You and I are as cool as the coldest of uh, of friggin cucumbers. Two peas in a pod me and my good friend Mr. Jade’s Grandpa.” He says all of this as he puts his sneakers back on and walks backward to Jade’s window. “And I’m gonna take this to heart. Like I’m a heart surgeon and I am delivering the sweetest of gifts to everyone’s favorite blood-pumping organ. You said to go out the way I came, and I intend to do just that.” 

Mr. Harley’s eyebrows raise as he realizes what Dave has just insinuated and Jade has to hold back laughter. Dave vaults himself out the second-story window and Jade rushes to the sill just in time to see him youth roll safely to the ground. From below he calls out, “See ya, sweetie! Oh, and you too Jade.” And waves goodbye as he jogs out of the yard. Jade waves too and blows a kiss, before turning to face her Grandpa once again.

  
  



End file.
